"Mom, why do I have a different last name from you and Reagan?"
My family tells me I know how to stop someone cold in their tracks with my directness. This was definitely one of those moments. Mom had the classic deer-in-the-headlights look and was suddenly focused on unlocking the door.
I learned the truth about my biological father that day. Mom sat me down on the couch, pulled out a worn out photo booth picture, and told me the story of her teenaged romance. I remember spending a long time in front of the mirror, trying to decide what physical features belonged to my dad. One question had turned my life upside down.
Fast forward twenty years, and a routine Facebook check turned my life upside down.
"Dear Audra, you don't know me, but I believe I am your biological father."
This cannot be happening to me. Why is this happening to me? Lord, I just made peace with all of the crummy family situations in my life.
Have you ever watched Unsolved Mysteries? The show helps people solve murders, catch criminals, and occasionally reconnect with long, lost relatives. When parent and child would be reunited after umpteen years, I was that one viewer who would be poking fun of the emotions. If the news reports a similar situation, I act really obnoxious and goofy. Needless to say, reconnecting with my biological father via Facebook caused me to chuckle a bit.
Maybe instead of laughing at all of those people I should have been taking notes. Dad and I have been communicating via Facebook, Skype, text messaging, and over the phone for about six weeks.
I am meeting him for the first time on Wednesday, February 23, at 11:00AM.
Even though I knew this day was coming, I no longer know how to feel, think, or act.
One of my favorite Bible verses is Psalm 121: 1-2:
"I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth."
Ask anyone who knows me and they'll tell you that I am a control freak-big time. Some people tell me that it's because I am a good leader, a woman, a classic Type-A personality. However, the Word of God makes it clear that when I call the shots, my trust is not in God, but my own ability.
Tomorrow, I might not know what to do, but I know that God has been preparing me for this day my entire life.