I've recently realized that during the day I have trouble concentrating on one project at a time for more than 15 minutes unless the due date is imminent.. Next to my computer I have a little notepad for jotted thoughts, project ideas, lists, and a ton of way too hopeful schedules. Most of the schedules say something like "ELLIPTICAL, paper out of the way tonight!, ELLIPTICAL!!" and really just a lot of random things that never end up happening. Exclamation points litter the neon colored sheets. 

I've made myself numb to exclamation points, neon paper, and cell alarms. I doubt I've been on an elliptical more than once this month despite the elliptical's presence on almost every single sheet. The only thing keeping me on my twice weekly jogging is an amazing running buddy who will send mean text messages if I even think of skipping. (If you're reading this running buddy, thanks a million!!) 

My cell alarm went off at least seven times this morning if you count my resets and not the snoozes. The phone calendar alarm with the high pitched ring went off too but I reset it by 10 minutes only to sleep through..So much for straightening my hair. When I sleep in, the only way to get things done is to pull my hair back in a bun, throw together something bland, make it to my classes, and stay up at night. Several cups of strong French Vanilla Cappuccino make me a jittery machine with absolutely no memory of what I'm doing. I get everything finished, but usually end up reading until the words blend.   

To get through December 7-11th (exam week), I've got to change my lifestyle. Statistics concepts cannot be remembered by the French Vanilla Cappuccino Caroline. An unhealthy Caroline who has breakfasts and suppers of French Vanilla Cappuccino with only snacks of normal food can't really be as competitive as the Caroline who first came to Judson. Old me was a well-rested Caroline who looked forward to hopping out of bed at the very crack of dawn. 

I've made a resolution to stop being hopeful. Projects will still get done by the French Vanilla method if necessary, but no more neon paper and schedules with exclamation points. Cell alarms will be set at the last possibile minute, but will not be reset..and no more Cappuccino breakfasts!